Why not help yourself?

Okay, so I lied. I am totally cheating with that chick's boyfriend (you know, with the dude who has been cheating on the chick who sent me the email asking me if I was dating her boyfriend, but I said: No) and the sex is so hot!

Um...not really. Again, I am NOT a cheater! But this is my way of catching you up, or at least making you curious if you didn't read my first ever blog entry on 1-20-10. Yeah, it's a meaty first entry (I already admitted that) and it's cruel of me to tease you like this, but it had to be done...me with the whole trying-to-catch-you-up-by-getting-you-to-read-the-first-entry-thing, and me being such a tease. Sometimes a girl just can't help herself.

Oops. Now that I think about it, I have lied twice. First, just now, I lied about lying about cheating, and then I lied about being a cheater. But, don’t worry, I didn’t cheat with email-chick’s boyfriend. I actually cheated with another guy, well, with a boy, and I was the one in the relationship at the time. I cheated on Johnny Deeten (actual name revised) in the 7th grade and it was because Johnny was a bad kisser. He was. But I was young, my moral compass wasn’t fully developed yet, and our relationship had only really been going on for one week and two days, so I can’t hold that against myself. We barely had time to bond.

Plus, in hind sight, it probably wasn’t Johnny’s fault that he was a bad kisser. We only kissed just the once by his locker after school, which means we had absolutely no practice to get good at it (and everyone knows that even if you have chemistry practice makes the va-va-voom go, go, GO!), and we were, after all, only in Jr. High and totally afraid that a teacher would come around the corner at any second and catch us mid lip lock. (Poor Johnny, he forever holds the distinction of being my bad first kiss and the only guy I ever cheated on. Rotten luck.)

At least the cheating I did was was only going to the movies with the new boy, who, because he was in the 9th grade, so ROCKED! That was big doings at that age. That’s dating an older man. Oddly, the pattern of dating older seems to have stuck with me. I’ve been dating men in the same age range, 33-40ish, since my early 20s. Now, I've just finally gotten to be that age.

What I do not intend to lie about is how completely and utterly exhausted I am today. I am why-is-this-world-so-cruel-that-I-have-to-be-awake-right-now tired. Why so tired? Can you say butthead neighbors? Actually, they are only a small fraction of the problem, as I was having a difficult time sleeping before the loud bang came from their apartment at 3:00am.

Don’t you hate that? The clock strikes 2:00am, then 3:00am (then a bang emanates from the assholes next door!), then there goes the clock, glaring red numbers at you, shoving it in your face that it is 5:00am and you still have barely slept (then you have to go to the bathroom, because your bladder is more awake than you are), and then, finally, but not happily, after going back to bed for only two stink'n, ding-dang hours, the clock strikes 7:00am and the alarm goes off.

Oh, how this tired of mine today can SUCK IT! I would have taken a nap, but then I’ll sleep crappy again tonight and I must be slept up for my 40th celebration tomorrow, which is bigger doings.

Anyway, turns out, as you can see, I couldn’t wait to write again. I may not have slept last night, but the day, yesterday, leading up to last night was AWESOME (can you hear the stoners singing this awesome out loud!) and I had to share a little.

No, nothing substantial happened. I didn’t meet Mr. You-Are-So-Gonna-Give-Me-Good-Love’n yet, or anything. I just had the day off from work unexpectedly and did things I don’t usually get to do, which leads me to another question I have and to today’s blog topic. I doubt that I’ll come up with the answer, but that’s not really the point. (Is it ever the point to rhetorical questions?)

My question is this: Why don’t more people take steps, even if they’re small, in whatever direction they feel would benefit them the most, and however they feel they’d be most comfortable in doing it, towards self-help?

Okay, actually, I sort of know the answer to this, and it makes me sad for people, and you probably know the answer, too, especially if you are one of the folks who isn’t seeking to help them self. So, let’s not discuss the completely tough stuff right now (or discuss the mechanics of a life and a history that can weigh so heavily upon a person that taking even one breath of air requires tremendous effort—so forget picking up a friggen self-help book) and let’s move on to leaving this question in the rhetorical pile, that way we can, at least, loose or find ourselves in the rhetoric.

I admit that I can remember in my early 20s scoffing at a friend of mine (only in my head, of course) because he read self-help book after self-help book, everything from: Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People to every sales book, every get rich, get smart, get healthy, get un-jacked, get whatever book he could get his hands on. And what I thought was a sign of weakness then (my real spiritual path didn’t start until my mid/ladder 20s), I now see, and realize, was a sign of great personal strength, individual investment, and self love.

Plus, who is laughing now? As a result of his empowerment, he, this self-help-book-love'n friend of mine, who only has a high school education, now owns a fourplex rental income bearing property (as well as his own beautiful home and luxury boat), and was able to build up and then sale a very profitable mortgage business which, even in this economy, he still draws an income from as part of the deal in the sale.

Now, I am not saying that money or possessions should be the goal or end result of any personal growth path, as money is a byproduct (a derivative) like so many other things that are secondary to the source, much like high-fructose-syrup pales in comparison as a sweetener to the good and natural sugar found in fruit. But if money, or any other harvest from a crop, is what a person wants for themselves, they better get on with the planting of the seeds, which needs to come first, before they think they're a-gonna reap the benefits from that growing season.

Incidentally, I’ve since read Mr. Carnegie's book, which essentially presents very fundamental techniques in handling people and getting them to like you, and it is one of the most powerful tools I could recommend to anyone who wants to excel in their professional and/or personal relationships. And trust me, it’s so not what the title seems to entail, and what I thought it was before I read it…a please-like-me-so-I-can-feel-better-about-myself manual. It’s so much more, as is the case with so much of the self-help available these days.

The best part? You no longer have to feel like a gapped soul when walking into a book store to fulfill/purchase your every self-help delight from some low-waged, college kid cashier who seemingly appears to look down his nose at you when reading the title of your literary investment; the internet has saved the day once again. It provides anyone, who so chooses, an abundant and anonymous resource to help themselves! (Anyone ever heard of a little on-line book store called Amazon dot com?)

If you are wondering why, on my wonderful gift of an unexpected day off (BTW, my crew all got sent home from work due to beyond inclement weather as the Orange County/LA beach cities were on tornado watch—go figure) that I started to question why more folks don’t seek self-help, it is because I spent this day off of mine watching a Dr. Wayne Dyer PBS special.

BTW, if you are unfamiliar, Dyer’s web site describes him as, “…an internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development…”

Anyway, I was so filled with gratitude that this day had given me the time to watch and enjoy this 3hr special that had been beckoning me from my DVR for a while, that I started to wonder if others get as tickled as I do when the things life has to offer come packaged so nicely.

That’s when I came to the conclusion that aside from a smattering of societies other spiritual trekkers, and many of my friends (which is probably yet another reason we are all friends), there ain’t enuff of this earth’s population go’n on a spiritual journey or tune’n in to watch a PBS self-help type program. The numbers of conscious-life-living students are climbing, true, thanks to my gals Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres, and to many of the other famous and strong women who are helping to put the word out (lay the proverbial first bricks) that people need to get on board with finding their true purpose. But, otherwise, no, a lot of people probably don’t get as jazzed as I do when I get a freshly bubble-wrapped book, sealed in a box and/or manila envelope, delivered which promises to open up further the world of balance and simple joy this journey has, thus far, offered me.

But, if you are reading my blog, chances are…you do get it and you are on a journey of your own.

Well, you could also be checking in because:

A. You know me, well, and are therefore curios to see if I, during a moment of extreme passion or conviction on a particular subject, can manage to keep my pseudo trucker's mouth at bay and not let a gaggle of four letter words loose in my writing. Those who don’t know me personally will be happy to know that I've trimmed the fat off my cussing/punchy expressions by at least 40%, which kind of makes the mouth on me more nutritional, even low-fat, if you please.

B. You want to find out if my self-fulfilling prophecy that I will be meeting my husband this year falls flat, which would be so not nice of you. I need all the positive mass-energy I can get to assist me in get’n a regular-life-long-lover/best friend in place. (Seriously, I am too old to be a slut and I haven’t had any in a while, so it’s high time I got me some that has a little paper work attached so when the go’n gets tough there’s more incentive to work it out.)

C. Or, you, as I said before, are, indeed, already on a spiritual path of your own and don’t mind being reminded that there are others out there. (Check. Check. Is this mich on?)


As you may have surmised, I didn’t exactly answer why it is that more people do not seek out self-help. But, whatever the reasons are that some do, while many do not, I am going to ask a favor of you. It’s a big one, but an easy, small one, and it would behoove all of us to do this favor for ourselves, the world, and everyone we love.

So, this is it, what I ask of you…in whatever small ways you can, give the gift of self-help. By example be that gift by looking within to find the joy and the happiness that comes from understanding that we are all divine creations deserving of the limitless abundance and love that is already within us. Yes!, it’s there, and using all the self-help material and tools available (again, we all know my self-help drug of choice is any book on metaphysics/spirituality) can help us get there. Remind yourself and others that we are meant to learn from each other, from not only those who are miles ahead of us but from those who are mere steps behind. Each of us has a lesson to teach and to learn and we all have something to offer which can help return us to our true selves, our essential nature, which is love.

So why not help ourselves, help someone, anyone, to gain the cooperation of the divine and manifest the gifts of life. It all starts by realizing that the power to do so is already there within us. Nothing is impossible. (I’ll even list some of my favorite books below that may be of interest to you or someone you know to get this favor on its way.)

After all, I've been thinking…why would we want to insult creation by being negative and giving in to the excuses of why something is not possible? Everything is possible. How could it not be? If everything is connected to the whole and that source is limitless, then why would we impose limits on our lives? Why would we let fear, the opposite of love (as there are only two emotions: love and fear) be the ruler of our lives. Love is a better option. It starts with loving ourselves.

Classic Self Help (and books anyone would benefit from):
• “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey
• “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale

My favorite metaphysical books:
• “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose” by Eckhart Tolle
• “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle
• “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of “Your Dreams” by MD Deepak Chopra
• “Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao” by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
• “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz


Well, that’s it for today. The big 40th birthday celebration is tomorrow. Half of my guests probably won’t make it due to the weather, but I gotta say…that’s okay. Whoever shows up is who is supposed to be there and that’s who I am going to have one helluva time with!

Go turning 40!

Keep being fabulous!