Grateful, while exhausted...

So, I've been working on this whole post (which may or may not make it to public), where I am trying to be smart, and clever, and figure out, and then share, what I am to learn from all that is stressing me out from work and home, and I haven't figure it out yet.

All I know, in the mean time, is that I am stressed out enough that I am losing my appetite over it all (work and home).

I've only lost my appetite (where food is concerned) once before in life. It was over love. So, this recent loss, for my love of food, sucks.

When I lost that heart love before, my lust for tuning out by filling up on food I love, a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell, or turning off, by overloading on fries and a cheese burger from In-N-Out, it was the devastation of the heart break that did me in.

But, then, my heart cracked in half and all, I only lost my need to eat my way through misery for 3 days. Essentially, that mind-numbing bliss and comfort of fatty foods, and filling up on those digestive boggers, to bug out, was short lived. I was 25 years old and heart broken.

Then, that three days later, I bounced back. I found the refrigerator. Isn't that what everyone does? Fill it up over here so we can avoid it over there?

So, this appetite loss, here, Now, that's been going on for almost a month, because of work and home, yikes. This might be big, Batman.

But, I still know how lucky I am in other ways. I just sent an email to Ava, and while I had not planned to post about it, after I hit send, I decided to do so.

I wanted to post what I just wrote to her because as I sent it, I realized there is that part of me that gets to be, needs to be, and still is, all sun-shiney.

I DO need that.

I always mean to have a light spot in my posts, even when I am in the middle of a shit storm. So, while I've not felt a lot of light lately, I just got a bit of light in knowing, remembering, I still am luckier than most when it comes to the people in my life.

Light spot=good, and great, friends.

Friends are IT!!!

So, now I share what I sent to Ava:


I know I've been a fine little mess, lately, and I've been complaining, annoyed, stressed, and, by proximity, you've gotten a bus load of what I am going through. But, while we all, as friends to each other, feel uniquely honored that someone would choose us to share...still, we're take'n a hit, taking in a lot for a friend.

You've been take'n in a lot of my hits, lately. And, you've done it with a grace and a spirituality that I, often strive for. So I want you to know, it's not lost on me, how valuable you are and how much I've leaned on you since I've known you.

You are pretty awesome. So, if in anyway I've leveraged your awesomeness beyond capacity, my apologies. But, I gotta say, even with all my work/home stress, I know where I am blessed. Tag! U're it!

U rock!!!

Thanks for being YOU!